I often struggled in school. Both primary and secondary education were difficult for me. My earliest memory is of a teacher asking me if I was stupid. I was having trouble with spelling and writing. Being left-handed, I felt like everything was being taught the wrong way around. I would have been in junior infants when I first heard that word – and sadly, I continued to hear it from teachers and classmates throughout my school years.
I often felt different from my peers when I struggled with the content. That sense of not fitting in, of being ‘less than,’ has stayed with me for over 30 years. With enough bullying, you eventually start to believe it’s true.
My school didn’t offer subjects that sparked my interest. There was nothing in computing, no practical options like woodwork or metalwork. I found it hard to engage when nothing reflected my abilities or passions.
Things started to change after I left school. I took a few years out and then enrolled in PLC courses. I completed a Level 6 in Computer Maintenance and another in Software Development. I loved the subject and excelled in my studies, earning mostly A’s and B’s.
But during my four-year university course in software development, my mental and physical health caught up with me. Halfway through the third year, I dropped out. I had to step away from my studies and receive intensive medical support for my mental health.
That was a turning point. I’ve since spent years in therapy and worked hard to manage my health. I explored other areas through smaller courses – art, animal welfare, grooming – but nothing felt quite right. My passion for computers never left me, but because of the associations with university, I knew I couldn’t return to that field professionally. Still, it remains a lifelong love. I build and repair computers for friends and family, and that brings me joy.
In 2020, the Lantern Project, a Community Education provider in Cork, was recommended to me. I started with a personal development course and then moved into various art courses and, finally, a singing class. That’s where something shifted.
I had always loved singing, but negative experiences in school and at home made me believe it was a waste of time. It became another source of bullying, and over the years, I developed performance anxiety. It took me a long time to find the courage to sing in front of people again. But through the Lantern, I was encouraged and supported.
I joined their choir, Cór na Laoí, and was even given opportunities to sing solos. Now, I’m practising for another solo performance at an upcoming gathering. The Lantern helped me find my voice – literally and figuratively. Today, I’m also a support worker for some classes at the Lantern, including Sing Your Song, and I’ve just finished a joint project building a currach with Meitheal Mara. On top of that, I’ve been accepted into a new course with UCC and Cork City Partnership – Mental Health in the Community. It’s completely different from anything I’ve done before, but I’m excited. I’ve reached a point in my life where I love learning and want to keep going.
Through volunteering, I’ve discovered what I want to do. I want to help others the way I was helped. I want to support people on their educational journey, to offer them the glimmer of hope that I once received.
No one is worthless. No one is stupid. Everyone is capable of learning – of shining – in their own way. Too many adults carry the scars of their school years, believing the cruel words they once heard. I want to be part of breaking that cycle. Everyone deserves a chance to learn. Everyone deserves a chance to shine.
