"I have discovered the wonders of my own self-esteem, the joys of learning to learn and learning."

My own direct family were business people, so I think I was trying to fit in, but to my own very real detriment. I was completely lost at college. I was so frustrated as I knew I was bright but never fitted in and had no idea who to ask for help or even what help to ask for. I thought asking for help was a weakness! At this stage I had started drinking alcohol and using other drugs. I did some bank interviews towards the end of my first year in college and was amazed to get offered the job. I left college and became a bank clerk. Like my college experience I was completely lost working in the bank. I left the bank after a year. I did many other jobs, part-time or for no more than six months, over the years.

My addiction meant I never had money for saving, helping my parents, holidays etc. Everything in my life suffered: my health, emotional and physical, all my relationships including romances, and in time I went from being unemployed to being put on a disability payment.

At this stage I met an addiction counsellor who suggested I try four weeks in an addiction service in Kerry. I went there thinking this is something I will just go through and get through, but the four weeks had a profound effect on me. My very loving father died a year later and I was distraught. Somewhere in those years after dad died, I got to the point where I had had enough. I became clean and sober during Easter 2009 and a few years later I stopped gambling.

My mom developed vascular dementia and I became her full-time carer. I also completed a mindfulness course and a care for carers course while caring for my mom. My mom died in late 2013. Now for the first time in my life I would be living alone, while grieving for my mom and still in many ways like my eighteen-year-old self, not knowing what I wanted to do, or should do. The months of November and December 2018 and January 2019 were in truth the worst for me. But somehow with all the ups and downs in life, I came back to form at times and never gave up. 

One Saturday morning in Arthur’s Quay shopping centre, I saw a woman preparing a stand and handouts on adult education. I approached her, we spoke about confidence, and I told her my confidence was on the floor. She said she could help me if I was interested and to contact her at a set date and time in a few days.

From that single meeting, I have discovered the wonders of my own self-esteem, the joys of learning to learn and learning. I have completed a confidence-building course and a personal effectiveness course and am doing a word processing course online currently. I am also involved with the Learners as Leaders programme with AONTAS. I have attended numerous extra-curricular school activities and loved them all. I now have a goal to study at third level in the area of social science, in particular, psychology. After years of hiding away in many ways from life, I have found somewhere I fit in. The teachers and guidance counsellors have been nothing short of life-saving for me. I can honestly say, I have never felt as well.

Noel’s story is shared as part of the Learners as Leaders Programme, which is funded by the European Agenda for Adult Learning.

Would you like to share your story and tell us what adult education means to you? If so, you can get in touch with Laura at llovejoy@aontas.com.

 

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